{assignment #4} 39 by 39

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Some are silly, some are deep...

39 by 39

1. Get to my happy weight.(139)
2. Establish a nightly skin care routine.
3. Establish the habit of the whole family sitting down together for dinner.
4. Perfect the skill of a "smokey eye."
5. Perfect the skill of beach waves in hair. (quick version, not time intensive)
6. Perfect the skill of "natural and dewey" make up routine.
7. Develop my own "boho chic" style.
8. Perfect a signature dish or two.
9. Overhaul my lingerie situation.
10. Add some oomph to my intimate situation.  ; )
11. Decide on that tattoo, once and for all.
12. Learn to cook seasonally.
13. Learn the art of flower arranging.
14. House renovations {mostly} done.
15. Obtain perfect pair (or 2) of jeans.
16. Establish an exercise routine that works around my life, instead of my life working around it.
17. Write a personal manifesto.
18. Successful blog???
19. Successful etsy endeavor???
20. Make and grow friendships in my new community.
21. Date and court my husband.
22. Be courted by my husband.
23. Solve the daily headache mystery.
24. Find a good way to organize photos.
25. Organize my wedding album! (from 13 years ago)
26. Go on a tropical vacation and walk around in a tiny bikini.
27. Establish the habit of a daily vegetable appetizer before dinner.
28. Go antiquing at the Rose Bowl Flea Market.
29. Establish a closer relationship with my sister.
30. Throw a fantastic bbq/party at our new house.
31. Find a good babysitter and establish an official Date Night.
32. Establish daily "me" time, where the whole family respects it.
33. Get up to date on all medical appts. (gyno, derm, allergy)
34. Get life insurance for me.
35. Establish system for paying off our mortgage.
36. Set up a living trust.
37. Make an effort to be in more photos.
38. Thank my mom for the influence she has been in my life.
39. Thank my dad for the influence he has been in my life.

my 38th year

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I just turned 38, and for the first time in my life, I feel old. My skin feels dry, my eyes don't shine so bright, and I have more and more body aches.

I am at a crossroads. I can either continue down this path, accepting my age and life as-is, or I can fight for a life of passion. The life I have dreamed of and know I am capable of having. A life I am worthy of living.

Another thing that has been freaking me out is cancer. Lately, it seems that every friend-of-a-friend has just found cancer. Many of these people have young children, and all I can think about it is What if that was me? What would my kids --or J-- do without me? I don't want my kids to grow up without a mother.

My heart breaks for the life I didn't lead.

I have done the responsible thing, and I have begun to make doctor's appointments for routine check ups. Since moving to a new part of California, I have needed to find new doctors anyway. Instead of worrying that I have cancer {knock wood}, I am being proactive and doing what is within my control.

In the meantime, I have also started making a 39 by 39 list: A list of 39 things I want to do before my 39th birthday. I hope to have that list complete by tomorrow. However, a list is just a list until you start checking things off of it.